THIS LIVING

(after Amber Tamblyn)

it’s going to happen every day
whether you like it or not

it’s going to cleanse with sorrow
but only when you’re strong enough

it’s going to open your heart 
to someone every day

it’s going to hold you tight
and lick your animal ears
on a warm summer night

it’s going to forgive you 
when you didn’t know you needed it

it’s going to love you 
like a teacher, like someone’s mother

it’s going to make a place for you 
at the table

it’s going to make you wonder why no one told you 
and then know they never knew themselves

it’s going to feel like a trap
then a tunnel
into the starry night at the end

it’s going to gift you spirit animals

it’s going to watch you
with narrow grizzly bear eyes
and blind you 
with violent golden fur

it’s going to kill you
but not before
some will always remember you

it’s going to last 
like the wooden handle of a spade
that’s going to bury you

it’s going to tuck you in 
every night gentle as snow

it’s going to save your ass
when the wrestler pulls his punches

it’s going to break your heart
but mend it with guitar strings

it’s going to arrive like an uninvited guest
and return every birthday with long-lost friends 

it’s going to stand in a circle,
children beseeching with open tears

it’s going to shut down the city
with heavy snow and ruin all the tanks

it’s going to test you every night 
and fathom angels when you jump

it’s going to wipe that grin off your face
until you grin again and again and again

it’s going to be impossible to stop laughing

it’s going to happen while you sleep, 
an instinct to love,
vignettes where you are loved

it’s going to appear on a stage
speaking nonsense, hiding a terrible longing 

it’s going to happen when you hear the ocean in the distance

it’s going to burst into flames 
when you overshare at the check-out counter

it’s going to sweep you off your feet
and never let you fully land

it’s going to be awkward
hiding your wings.

Ken Massicotte is a poet and musician who lives in Hamilton, Ontario. He has taught English (ESL) in various countries, delivered furniture and flowers. He has been published in many journals, including: Grain, Rat’s Ass Review, New World Writing, Main Street Rag. He has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize.